There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize