i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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