What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
