I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
