the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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