It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
