the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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