did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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