Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
