You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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