pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
