She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
