When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
