Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
