you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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