If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
