Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
