Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just want nice things and good sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
