It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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