I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
