We're like a lot better than the average bears
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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