508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
