if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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