T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
