Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
where are my eyebrows?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
