He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
