OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
