His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
