So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
