I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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