i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
