I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
