too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize