Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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