Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
