PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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