She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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