are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i was born a porn star she said
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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