Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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