ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Randomize
