You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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