i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
