Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
There r osticjed everywhere
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
