if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
