i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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