I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
