There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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