Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
