i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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