the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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