happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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