I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
