So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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