Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
