My sheets look like a crime scene.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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