He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
