Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize