So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
