I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
