I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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