is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
