I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
